Soft Southerners In The Snow.

We in the north have always known southerers were a bit on the soft side.

Additional proof, if any were needed, came in one of the news bulletins about snow disruption. In rural parts Surrey people who own 4 x4s have been charching owners of ordinary cars £10 for help getting out of snow.

Now if that had been in Lancashire, Yorkshire or places even further north the fee is £25 … and you can say goodbye to your kneecaps if you try to get out of paying.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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35 Responses to “Soft Southerners In The Snow.”

  1. deleted user Says:

    Sir,
    I would say cash those £25 in advance, then there is no longer necessary to see kneecaps rolling in the snow.

  2. rithompson Says:

    Soft?! Look, soft people don’t go out to play in the snow, or take pretty pictures! 😛

    • ianrthorpe Says:

      That’s just what soft people do. And they go on skiing holidays.

      Northerners don’t go gaga over a bit of snow. We just quietly carry on as normal, walking around in our T shirts and shorts, (not even that in Newcastle,) wearing trainers or canvas deck shoes. What’s all the fuss about.

      Here’s a comment from Ernie Spitmuscle:

      -20 degrees. Bloody tropical paradise! Bloody ‘ell, it were -20 this morning when ah went out. By t’ time ah’d walked t’t’ papper shop I were so ‘ot ah’d’ fer t’ ask Ahmed if ah could sit in his ice cream freezer for five minutes. Ah tell thee, ‘s bloody unnach’l fer t’ time o’ year, this weather.

  3. ianrthorpe Says:

    Yeah. And poverty. And biblical plagues and medieval torture. But do you hear us moaning eh? No. An’ I’ll tell you why not……… 😀

    • deleted user Says:

      now, tell! I am also listening… 🙂

      • ianrthorpe Says:

        I need a pipe so I can go into pedantic Yorkshireman mode. This is not because I have taken up smoking but because pendantic Yorkshiremen always jab the stem of their pipe towards the person they are addressing when saying things like:

        “‘ardship, bloody ‘ardship. Them bloody southersners know nowt abaht ‘ardship. When ah were nobbut a lad me mam ‘ad fer t’ pick scurf out of me hair to make porridge for me an’t’twelve other little uns.”

        I have though of doing a blog written by a professional northerner, but the accent is too hard to type every day.

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  6. pompeycaulkhead Says:

    Oi!!!!!!!!! We are well hard over here!!!!!!!!! :)):)):))

  7. loiswakeman Says:

    Mr W was out handymanning today and came across some blokes pushing a van up an icy slope (or not, as the case may be). He gave them a tow and got a £20 note for his troubles – so celebrated with an egg and bacon butty on the way home.

    I am thinking of making sure the tow rope is in the van when I go shopping tomorrow, and see how much I can earn on the way there and back! (My Pa was a Northerner, bah gum.)

    • ianrthorpe Says:

      Ayup lass, tha’s doin’ t’ reet thing. If ivver that does owt fer nowt, do it fer thisen.

      Is your hubby a northerner by any chance. Celebrating with an egg and bacon butty sounds very promising. I hope he had a pint pot of tea from a mucky, chipped mug to wash it down.

  8. fatsally Says:

    Just think, if my late ma-in-law had not blighted his life by refusing to move to Yorkshire until the day after he was born, hubby could have been shovelling the snow away with his bare hands, towing stranded motorists out of drifts with the tow rope wrapped around his waist and doing his impersonnation of Ari Vatennan and power sliding his way to work instead of being holed up in the study and getting under my bloody feet for the past three days.

    • ianrthorpe Says:

      Bare ‘ands? A proper Yorkshireman’d be shovelling it awa’ wi’ ‘is bare willie an’ owdin’ a pint i’ one ‘and an’ ‘is pipe i’tother.

      Uz is more s’fisticated i’ Lancashire. A Lanky bloke ‘d hear snow forecast o’erneet so he’d ‘a’ skinful o’ T’waitses bitter and ‘ollands meat pie wi’ mushy peas for ‘is supper. That’d see to it as ‘ee ‘ad dragon breath i’t’morn so ee’d on’y ‘av’ fer t’ beathe on’t snow fer t’ clear it.

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