The Last Word On Mice – For A While.

While writing yesterday’s blog on mice with mobile phone related scientific research I heard a story on radio about a pest control firm that has developed a new and highly scientific way of dealing with the plague of mice that are overrunning London’s offices, shops, hotels and restaurants.

The company’s operatives go into a target building, lay down mats coated with special mouse adhesive and themn place mouse bait on the mats. When the little pointy nosed ones go on to the mat to get the free snacks they get stuck.

“And then you return them to the wild?” the ever so politically correct presenter asked hopefully.

“No,” said the pest control spokesman patiently, “we hit them with a builders mallet. They’re vermin.”

Now that is the kind of science we can all engage with. For me it brought to mind an old Kenny Everett sketch where he was a musician who played melodies by hitting captive mice with a mallet to make them squeak.

More humour every day at Boggart Blog

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14 Responses to “The Last Word On Mice – For A While.”

  1. deleted user Says:

    For a better competition with other firms, that pest control firm could offer to ‘annihilate’ the mice with a builders mallet handled in such a manner that mice would squeak on scores of X factor songs (just a suggestion, of course, they could also use easier scores from Mozart’s earlier period of creation – for which purpose the builders might have to study music for three or four years – I could organise course at very convenient prices… :>)

    • loiswakeman Says:

      Ah: shades of Monty Python’s Mouse Organ! (Showing my age.)

      • deleted user Says:

        Yes, the idea is not totally original šŸ˜‰ but the Monty Python character (Arthur Ewing, and his musical mice) had a limited repertoire, he only plays ‘The Bells of St Mary’s‘ on a very reduced mouse keyboard (23 mice only!), while for Mozart tunes you need a piano with more keys (Mozart used pianos with 63 keys), and we offer training on a grand mouse-piano with 88 mouse-keys (easy to realise by a mice plague in a bigger house), and for larger homes, during greater plagues, we could add some extra mice in the bass.
        :>

      • fatsally Says:

        Sounds like a job for Hamish Ratcatcher.
        Actually all of our cats tend to prefer to play solo, sort of a mouse piccolo.

      • deleted user Says:

        I can imagine that music well played by cats – with some dexterity… mouse far*s can sound like flute tones :>

      • fatsally Says:

        Perhaps I can get them onto Britain’s got Talent:)

      • loiswakeman Says:

        Well, you learn something new every day. Do cathedral organs employ a wider range of rodents – for example capybaras for the deep bass and coypus for the tenor pipes? We should be told!

      • fatsally Says:

        It’s probably against some rule to use rodents, perhaps they use 20-30 year old males tanked up on varying brews, I seem to remember Old Peculiar had a very resonant aroma and you can always rely on Guinness!

      • deleted user Says:

        indeed, for more serious organ music they take males, instead of rodents, and no mallets, but pints (not on the head, but in the hand).

        Btw, just a small correction: it is ‘resonant sound’, not ‘resonant aroma’.

      • fatsally Says:

        It was a deliberate choice of noun, just my sense of humour, and if you had been in the company of young men after a night on the booze I am sure you would agree with my choice of word.

      • deleted user Says:

        I might have guessed what you meant, but I thought we’d better keep appearances here on BoggartBlog, and not ruin it’s reputation as serious press. :>

        No, I have never been “in the company of young men after a night on the booze” – I use to play music myself (by means of other than booze supported instruments, of course).

      • ianrthorpe Says:

        You are kind to me and my sister Justgrrl.

        But I have smelled many a resonant aroma induced by booze. There was a beerfart dropped by a man standing in front of me at Leigh Rugby ground once, around thirty five years ago that still reverbrates in my nostrils.

        It was traumatic at the time but I can smile now.

        One of the tasks we set ourselves at Boggart Blog is to stretch the boundaries oif human consciousness. Dylan Thomas once wrote of “passion roaring like a breast.” His editors (posthumous) assumed it was a drunken error and Dylan had meant “roaring like a beast” but us Boggarts know just what he meant and we want to share that with the world.

      • fatsally Says:

        I was a dab hand on the recorder, but that is questionable as to whether it produces music or just screeching:)

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