Pigs Might Avalanche

Pigs, having got fed up with flying, are now mastering the art of avalanching or so it seems from the Nib headline:-

CALL TO END PIG AVALANCHE TESTS

Have the pigs been reading Animal Farm and decided that Snowball needs more support?

Would a pig avalanche be less or more dangerous than a conventional snow avalanche?

Is it all a plan by the Met office to have pigstorms in Britain because it will be easier to clear the roads and won’t use nearly as much salt?

No, it’s those barmy scientists again, this time attempting to find out what factors make it possible for humans to survive an avalanche without suffering brain damage whilst waiting to be rescued.

Not being hit on the head by a tumbling pig would probably be a good place to start.

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4 Responses to “Pigs Might Avalanche”

  1. ianrthorpe Says:

    Aren’t people more likely to get brain damage while being thrown about in the avalance that while waiting to be rescued.

    Surely a research project to find way of preventing people trapped by avalanches getting hypothermia would be a better idea.

    Oh, but I forgot, this is science and ordinary punters like us don’t understand science :))

  2. fatsally Says:

    They’re actually sedating the pigs and then burying them in the snow and monitoring their slow descent into hypothermia, coma and presumably death. Although of course they could be “rescuing” the pigs before they die and then observing their behaviour as they recover to see which ones have suffered brain damage.
    I suppose they will be looking for signs of confusion, mood swings, memory loss, paralysis.
    In the most severe cases the pigs will probably be placed on ventilators whilst the scientists carry out tests to see whether they are brain dead or not, at which point someone will have to decide whether to turn off the machines.
    It’s all very stressful and emotionally draining, that’s why the likes of you and I don’t understand science.

  3. ianrthorpe Says:

    I remember the good old days when blokes who were so hard they wore leather shorts even on the coldest winter days used to go out and rescue people trapped in snow by using a dog and a bottle of brandy.

    Proper scientists, i.e. doctors who make people better instead of spending all their time killing lab rats and molesting pigs have found when people have had strokes cooling them down as far as possible minimises brain damage.

    One day they will all agree on something. Then the world will end.

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