I Told Them Google Are Evil

When I said Google were an evil bunch of control freaks hellbent on world domination they called be a conspiracy theorist. When I said the Google corporate motto in full is “Don’t be evil, that’s our job,” they said I was paranoid.

Funny how little things keep creeping out of the woodwork that leave no room for doubt Google and other technology corporations, in collaboration with government security agencies, are creeping toward technology led fascism.

The laptop was the first portable internet-connected device that freed up millions to be stalked by the internet 24/7 rather than chained to the desk eight hours a day. Next was the smartphone, which didn’t really take off until Apple opened it up to developers and allowed the creation of applications that steal you money while fooling you into thinking you are having fun and made the smartphone the oppressive monster it is today. Then came to tablet computer and though Jobs little jobbie was too pricey and too underspecified to appeal to anyone except fanboys and wankers, rival using Google’s Android front end became the choice for business.

Earlier this year Goolge introduced wearable technology in the limited release of Googlegoggles (Google Glass), which proved a step to far for many bar and restaurant owners who sparked a race relations row by banning human / robot hybrids from their premises. The head-mounted display of Google glass puts Google adverts and “suggestions” (you will obey, you will obey) right in your fucking face whatever you are doing.

Now we have smartwatches. Samsung has a smartwatch, and Google, Apple and Microsoft are buying up companies that have patented smartwatch technology or are hiring engineers to create it. Smartwatch technologies are supposed to work in tandem with mobile phones and computers to become the third leg of the “smart” ecosystem. WTF can a smartwatch do that my forty year old Tissot and a bog standard cellphone can’t do for me and I can’t do for myself?

With wearable fitness gadgets that sense heartbeat, pulse, the number of steps you take, and the quality and duration of your sleep, it’s just a matter of time before technology gets in your head … and that is right. where Google are planning on going next. Yes,hardware and software engineers working for the universe’s creepiest and most evil corporations are working on a chip that can be implanted in the skull and interfaced directly with the central nervous system

CNET reports, “Google has a plan. Eventually it wants to get into your brain. ‘When you think about something and don’t really know much about it, you will automatically get information,’ Google CEO Larry Page said in Steven Levy’s book, In the Plex: How Google Thinks, Works and Shapes Our Lives. ‘Eventually you’ll have an implant, where if you think about a fact, it will just tell you the answer.’

but what if I don’t want an answer. What if I am thinking about a nice big juicy steak and a glass of Chateauneuf du Pape. I just want to think about them, I don’t want to know the chemical composition. And if I was thinking about Kelly’s boobs how they feel in my hands and Google interrupted there would be mayhem I promise you.

Are you a slave to the machines? Do you run out and buy a new iPhone whenever one is launched? Would you wear Google Glass and have Google in your face all day. Do you feel you must have a smartwatch whatever the fuck they are? Would you like to be able to think of something and have an implantable computer in your head to provide some additional resources to complete your thoughts? Be sure that if your thoughts did not lead to your doing something that would shove a bit of revenue Google’s way, your own thoughts would be overridden by Google’s

“You don’t really want to take Kelly to bed, you want to browse the web and click through on some Google adsense ads…”

YES-MASTER-I-DO-NOT-WANT-TO-TAKE-SARAH-HARDING-LOOKALIKE-KELLY-TO-BED-I WANT-TO-LOOK-AT-SOME-GOOGLE-ADS-I-WILL-OBEY-I-WILL-OBEY …

Technology is on our bodies, and the evil ones want to put it into our bodies! Let’s hope anonymous can hack our heads and release us.

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2 Responses to “I Told Them Google Are Evil”

  1. MichaelStMark Says:

    ‘Resistance is futile’ – as some other nasty little f*cks called Daleks once grated.
    Trouble for them was, they couldn’t even climb up a stair… so the dastardly Terry Nation invented the levitating buggers.
    Even so it’s pretty easy to escape all the above accurately-portrayed shite altogether – press Off, go low-tech walking, read a low-tech book, watch a DVD etc etc etc.

    F*k Google and way over-rated fad gadget news, it doesn’t have to be MY news. The rise of the (hacked-off) individual signals the demise of the control-freaking multinational!

    • ianrthorpe Says:

      Do read low tech books, wish I could go low tech walking (by my car is not internet ready and will never be) and I avoid all things Google like the plague.

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