Kentucky Fried Chicken? It’s Nose Pickin’ Good

Kentucky Fried Candle - nose pickin' good

Picture Source: The Examiner

Let’s be honest, many of us love the smell of Kentucky Fried Chicken, don’t deny it, your taste buds start to tingle at the first whiff of that distinctive aroma. Ah but then there are all the calories, trans fats, chemical additives, GM flour in the better and all manner of unhealthy shite that goes hand in hand with that appetizing aroma?

(I have to admit, the smell of Italian cooking turns me on even more but Italian food does at least contain some natural ingredients.)

But how would you like a product that lets you enjoy Kentucky Fried Chicken without the drawbacks. In Terry Pratchett’s novel Small Gods, one of said Gods, Om, thinks sausages are the best sacrifice, the idea of sacrifices being the meat is cooked and the smell goes up to the heavens while the priests eat the cooked remains. When sausages are sacrified, as everyone knows the taste does not match the scent because sausages are made of lips and arseholes, eyeballs, brains, spleens and all the stuff a decent person would not give their dog for its dinner. They always smell better than they taste so for once Om gets the best part of the sacrifice.

Same with Fried Chicken really. The smell is the best part. So what if there was a product that gave you the smell without the shite.

There is now such a product, all you have to do to enjoy the best of fried chicken is light a candle – a fried chicken scented candle. The nose pickin’ fried chicken became available last Friday, just in time for america’s Thanksgiving weekend.

Whit Hiler, co-founder of Kentucky for Kentucky, a company that markets products from the Bluegrass State, says,

“Your home can now smell like fried chicken all the time, without having to actually fry chicken.” Well we can see his point, you will not get fat from surfeiting on Fried Chicken but you might well become anorexic. Who would not throw up at the sight of food after inhaling fried chicken scent for hours on end?

The candles giving off fried chicken scent are made by Kathy Werking, who fries portions of chicken in soy wax and adds some “family secrets” to the mix to get an authentic scent. But Kathy is not a one trick pony or even a one egg chicken. There are three more homegrown aromas — the others are Kentucky Derby (maybe she is a one trick pony), mint julep; and Ale 8, a ginger-citrus flavored soft drink popular in Kentucky.

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4 Responses to “Kentucky Fried Chicken? It’s Nose Pickin’ Good”

  1. Athelstan Says:

    My, my what will they think of next? I don’t even like the smell of KFC so it’s a lose-lose situation for me.

  2. fatsally Says:

    Obviously this is something for the Breatharians, those wacky people who believe that you only need to gulp down air in order to survive.

    • ianrthorpe Says:

      But might be useful in your line of business, the beeritarians sometimes need something to encourage them to drink more beer.
      (In case anyone missed it, fatsally is now owner of a pub / restaurant)

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